Playing Now In New York: Rich Door, Poor Door

Blogdramedy:

This week on NWR, I poke a little fun at New Your city planners. They must all be Republicans because dumb. Really dumb.

Originally posted on The Nudge Wink Report:

Looks like life in the Big Apple just got a little wormier.

New York, New York, it’s a wonderful town. You can get anything you want, any time you want it. You can eat in, you can eat out. If you’re concerned about your weight, you can hire someone to eat for you.

It’s a great town to be rich in. And now it’s gotten even better for those who don’t like to share their air with the less refined.

Because now you can buy a multi-million dollar condo in Manhattan and almost convince yourself you are helping out the less fortunate.

The New York City Department of Housing Preservation and Development approved a request by a building developer to install two separate entrances to its newest development, 44 Riverside Boulevard. There will be one door for the ultra rich to reach their water view condos and another door for…

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The Very Snobby Caterpillar

(Today I introduce you to Loie of CheapWineCurious with a guest post about the high-brow attitude of wine snobbery for us low-brow types. Loie will be back in August and September to continue our wine wisdom-ology. Hope you enjoy. — BD)

This guest blog is dedicated to my loving spouse who believes I did not appreciate how much he cooked, cleaned and fathered today while I toiled over this post – seriously – I just endured a 40 minute drunken rant about his martyrdom and how I’m now on the hook to clean the litterbox. The truth is I did completely ignore him while laughing at my own jokes but he’ll get over it when we’re rich and famous and the kid gets into Andover.  All my love & gratitude to you Darling forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and….

 

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In the light of an Aires moon, a little egg lay on a leaf fearful its mucosal shell would not dissolve in time to take full biodynamic advantage of the occasion. You see, it was the advent of a fruit day in the lunar cycle which any plebeian knows is the most optimal of wine tasting days. One Sunday morning the warm sun came up and – pop! – the very snobby caterpillar was able to saber his egg like a bottle of Krug Private Cuvée with ceremonial grace.  He exclaimed “liberté, égalité, fraternité” and inched off on his tour gastronomique. Continue reading

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Manly Man: the magazine your wife would like you to read

Have you ever stood in a drug store and counted the number of magazines for women? I did yesterday and I had to use my fingers and the fingers of the woman standing next to me to tally up an exact count. The number is staggering.

Many of them were fashion magazines featuring bone-thin girls younger than some of my shoes. They all wore next to nothing, along with expressions of haughty disdain.

But maybe they were just hungry.

Health magazines were plentiful. However, editors should take the time to cross reference their articles. Depending on which magazine you decide to buy, you could end up drinking too much water; drinking not enough water; drinking the wrong kind of water; or only drinking water from icecaps around Iceland. By the time you finished experimenting, you could have drowned. Continue reading

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A Real Prince Charming Doesn’t Care About Your Shoe Size

Feet. They carry us everywhere.

To work, to play, to the liquor store for vodka. To bed. To the bathroom. Into your lover’s arms.

Away from the dentist chair.

Running, screaming, from your mother-in-law.

Without feet, it’s a challenge to be foot-loose and fancy-free. Never mind having to forego the pleasure of a pair of on-sale-for-half-price Jimmy Choo strappy sandals. (I’ve never seen them on sale but a friend told me that a friend of a friend said she saw it happen once. )

The size of your feet doesn’t matter

A real Prince Charming will love them because they are part of you. Although if you warmed them up a bit before slipping between the sheets, he’d love them even more.

People with feet come in two groups. The ones who love to have their feet tickled and massaged; an empty lap is an open invitation.

Then there’s my group. The ones who walk around with an invisible “no-go” zone, reaching out to about three feet. You touch them at your peril. We have a great range of motion…to about groin level. Continue reading

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Appreciate the Oxford Comma

It’s Monday morning. Your alarm clock is shrieking. The coffee maker is refusing to ‘spresso that espresso. You’re trying to decide what not to wear for your big interview. And the kids are braiding the dog’s tail. Again.

But forget all that. You have a post to publish! You haven’t had time to check your piece for pesky little typos;  your inner grammar geek is wincing.

And you think…is there anything I can look at right this minute that will make me laugh?

Yes. Yes there is.

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The Hip French Notebook That Should Be On Everyone’s Desk(top)

If you’ve read this blog before, you know I occasionally select a blogger to stalk flatter promote by way of the humorous written word.

I call the posts my “BOOBS” (Blogs of Other Bloggers) and I have an entire page devoted to these posts, with links to the bloggers. Because sometimes it really is all about the blog love.

Recently I changed the name of this page from “B(.)(.)BS” to “Blogs of Other Bloggers” because my spam folder was filling up with an obscene amount of obscene comments. With images. If I want to see a nice pair, I just look down.

[Excuse me. I got distracted. Back to focusing on someone else for a change.] Continue reading

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Practice Good Blogging Etiquette, Leave Your Readers Satisfied

Immersing myself in a variety of new and Freshly Pressed blogs recently, I found myself distracted. (It happens. Pause for shocked reaction.) Here’s the thing: it wasn’t  the writing. Most of the posts were well written and a few engaging enough to follow.

The number of new blogs dropped every day? Impressive. And yet something was bothering me. I felt vaguely unsatisfied. What was I missing?

Then the voice that lives in my head had a wha-huh? moment and in her best Bette Midler impersonation, belted out: NO COMMENT REPLIES!

It was a tectonic shift in blog commenting behavior and it’s left me wanting. Continue reading

|: attention must be paid :|

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