Chapter 3: Into the Gutter


This final (?) chapter from the lurid and overactive imagination of our very own Dave, features some original art…both in words and images. Get this man an agent…STAT!

Originally posted on The Nudge Wink Report:

Link: Chapter One / Link: Chapter Two / Collect all three, trade with your friends!

Illustration by the author

Illustration by the author

The Bowl-A-Drome lies on the fringes of the old meat packing district, not far from the Chiselers’ home arena.  The giant red pin getting knocked over by the big blue ball on the sign lit up years worth of broken bottles in the parking lot.  Part of the neon tubing was out, so every time it got hit, the pin changed for a moment into some sort of foreign calligraphy.

I stepped inside and the smells of waxed hardwood, stale beer and rented shoes hit my nose like a fifteen pound house ball with no spin on it.

It was league night.  The usual assortment of embroidered synthetics were well represented.  Some teams looked like slobs with matching shirts while others were just a few sequins away from being dressed…

View original 1,129 more words

If I Password Protect This Post, Is It Secret? Is It Safe?


It’s Saturday and time for NWR. This week, it’s all about bleeding hearts. And there’s a poll, too! Check it out now…don’t wait for coffee.

Originally posted on The Nudge Wink Report:

I'd give you a piece of my heart but I can't remember the password.

I’d give you a piece of my heart but I can’t remember the password.

The thing we who use the Internet fear most, has finally happened. It’s name is Heartbleed. For the past two years, online security on websites most of us use every day has not been what it should have been. And that means there may be sites where you’re provided your credit card or other valuable information, and now that information is sitting out there, somewhere, waiting to be plucked. Like a goose.

Only it may be too late. This goose is cooked.

I’ve always been pretty good at making sure I only use passwords that make no sense to anyone. Sometimes that anyone is me. But I do try to take note of changes to my passwords and try not to make up a password using my Mother’s maiden name or base it on anything that’s familiar in…

View original 489 more words

How to react to a James Franco event


The “must-read” article on the truth surrounding celebrity selfies and how James Franco finally hit the big time by being a dork. Thanks, Shouts, for expanding my horizons to include Mr. Franco. Can I forget about him now? *grin*

Originally posted on The Nudge Wink Report:

james-franco My goal today is to write about something other than celebrity. I’ve been to that well far too often. After much soul searching I have settled on the topic of James Franco. Don’t worry. He’s a performance artist, not a celebrity.

I’ll also try to stay away from politics and religion. Of course, that presupposes you might be polite company. Call it a leap of faith on my part. Besides, this is purportedly a fun humor kind of blog. I’m still not sure what I’m doing here. This place is advertised as “Hilarious comic-tary on news, views and attitudes. Every Saturday morning.” I guess I better wake up and start writing. And two of out three ain’t bad.

Long story short: James Franco is chagrined. He is embarrassed. He is contrite. He’s currently appearing on his personal apology tour and saying things like, “I used bad judgement.”

Selfies are something…

View original 1,189 more words

Governor Christie – Innocent.


This is what innocence looks like?
I think I need new glasses because…wrong. Check out Oma’s take on Governor Christie’s lawyer’s take on the case.

Originally posted on The Nudge Wink Report:

So, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has been exonerated of any wrong doing in the matter of closing down bridge traffic lanes to flood Fort Lee, New Jersey with traffic. Why would anyone do such a thing? To punish the Mayor of Fort Lee for daring to back someone whose name wasn’t Chris Christie in the last election.

The Governor was cleared by an impeccable source. Himself. He says he didn’t do it. Well, to be fair, a lawyer he hired to say he didn’t do it, says he didn’t do it. So there you have it. The man is innocent.

I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to Mr. Christie for thinking he was complicit in an ugly situation simply because all the evidence pointed to that being the truth.

Christie’s innocence has moved me to feel bad about how I look at a number of other people…

View original 147 more words

FLYING BLIND: Or how to get a non-stop round trip ticket to Canada for less than $364 US dollars.


The joys of travel. This time on NWR, FloridaBorne attempts the impossible. How to get from the US to Canada without cashing out her entire savings. This dame has got game.

Originally posted on The Nudge Wink Report:

It’s a bit of a dilemma trying to find flights to Canada, where the best adman and editor in the universe reside.

You may be wondering, “Why does she want to go to a place like that when there’s Skype?”

Because that’s not the way my not-quite-right brain works.  It took 3 people and a lot of dragging to get me to download and then to actually use Skype.

Besides, the 2 week deadline with no outside interruption will help to motivate me.

If I were a bird, all I’d have to do is take flight.  That would solve the transportation problem.  I thought about this as my 20 pound Coon Cat pounced on my lap.  Man, did he STINK!  It was like something unwashed had just died.

That’s when I decided being a bird in my next life might not be the best plan.

20 pound coon cat is…

View original 1,370 more words

What happens when you go drinking with she who wears sunglasses at night


It’s time for the Nudge Wink Report.
This week…None of this is true!! Especially the part about the clothes…

Originally posted on The Nudge Wink Report:

Wink is here.

Wink is hungover.

Wink blames BD and wants to know what she did with his clothes.

Wink called up his good friend Chris Walken and, together, they came up with this.

If you call Chris to confirm, he’ll deny it. Like Wink paid him to.

View original