they let anyone on twitter

It’s true. There should be some kind of test you have to take before you are allowed to tweet. Just to determine if you are completely insane or just marginally stupid. Oh, yes, I’m going to hell for that one.

This one made me laugh so hard I think I broke something. Check it:

Someone asked me on Twitter why I am against first amendment rights…I think because of some of my (admittedly strong) anti-Ann Coulter comments.

To this person I say, “Go and google the first amendment. Then, find someone to explain it to you in simple language. And then, tweet me with your apology.”

I doubt I’ll hear from them again.

Here’s another Twitter gem…about my very vocal support of gay rights. “Scared of folks who aren’t gay?” No, I’m scared of folks who say I’m scared of folks who aren’t gay.

But, wait a minute…oh my god…does this mean I’m scared of straight people? Wow…okay, well, that explains a lot. Except…I’m straight. Oh my god…I’m scared of myself!!??

Yeah, I know. *shakes head* At the very least Twitter should have one of those verification questions. Like, what’s 2 + 2. If they answer 5 they’re borderline. If they answer 666…bingo, we have a winner.

Comments? Questions? Martini?

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