20 Questions Meets Fix It or Deal...guess who wins?

Give a blogger an inch and they just move right in. Which is fine with me. I like roomies. Plus, I did kind of invite them so let me go change the sheets on the bed and put out the good towels.

Amy of Fix It or Deal is a woman after my own heart. I say that literally. She’s into Zombies and is always on the look-out for the still beating heart of award-winning bloggers. I’m not sure what she does with the carcasses but I’m sure it’s every bit as creative as what she’s doing this year with her sure to be award-winning series on Robots. She’s like WordPress’ very own Ms. Frankenstein.

Then there’s the whole retro thing she’s got going on where she adds her own unique captions to old print advertisements. It’s enough to make you pee in your Wheaties.

I DIDN'T MEAN LITERALLY!!!

(Sorry Amy. Some people…Shouts, we all know you are so proud of being able to pee standing up but we don’t need to see you going for the distance record.)

As Amy says in her blog “sarcasm is the language of my people” so I suggest you take my refresher course “Sarcasm 101: How To Identify Sarcasm in 10 Easy Steps. You can count, right?” before your read any further. With that done, you make proceed with…

20 Questions? Meet Fix It or Deal!

1. What quality do you most admire in others?
Their appreciation of my sense of humor.  And honesty.  I can tell if you are fake-laughing at my jokes.

2. What trait do you most dislike in yourself?
How humble I am.  I’m actually kinda being serious.  I’m my own worst critic.

3. If you could come back in your next life as anything, what would it be?
A dog owned by someone who loves dogs as much as I do.  Or a bat, cause flying mammals are twelve kinds of awesome.

4. With which Star Trek character do you most identify?
Wesley Crusher. I’m kind of awkward and sometimes I try too hard, but I’m a good kid and one day I’ll save Patrick Stewart’s life.

5. What 3 movies do you think you’ve watched more than any others in your life?
Raising Arizona – I can’t watch this with people because I’ll annoy the crap out of them by reciting every, single line of dialogue.
Fletch – this came on HBO one summer as a kid and I think I may have watched it twice a day for a month.
Reservoir Dogs – I’ve no idea why I love this movie so much, I just do.  Maybe it’s all the blood.

6. If you could relive one day – either keeping it the same, or changing something – what would you choose?

The day I enrolled in college. I should have taken the money (set aside to pay for my tuition by my grandmother) and run.  Anywhere. Oh the places I could have gone.

7. What is the one thing you do really well?

Is “sarcasm” a thing? If not, then I am excellent at being heard. I’ve never once been told, “Speak up, dear, I can’t hear you.” Usually, while I’m talking, people cover their ears and cry, “Jesus, Lady! Ever hear of an inside voice?” Whenever I’m handed a microphone, I secretly turn it off.  No one has ever noticed.

8. What would you like the title of your biography to be?

If I’m alive: Will Write For Wine; Posthumously: Damn. Sure Is Quiet In Here

9. What movie or book has had the biggest impact on you?
Skeleton Crew by Stephen King. It was after I finished that book that I said, “Fuck. I really want to be a writer.” That was an important moment for me because I was so young and not allowed to cuss.

10. What is your favorite thing about blogging?
Connecting with people that I never would have met any other way. I mean, I got people laughing at me from China to Canada. So wonderfully bizarre.
11. Least favorite thing about blogging?
That they haven’t found a way to directly download my thoughts into a post. This sitting down and actually typing out crap is so time consuming.
12. Which of the 7 Deadly Sins are you most guilty?
Sloth. I’m an inherently lazy person. For question #7, I should have answered “sleep.”     
13. If you could spend a year in any time and place, when and where would you choose? Five hundred years in the future aboard a pleasure cruise to Alpha Centauri.
14. If you could be any TV character, who would you choose and why?
Ship mechanic Kaylee Fry from the gritty (if short-lived) space opera, Firefly. First of all, she lives on a spaceship! In SPACE! Second, she’s smart and plucky and isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. Third, her shipmates are the right shiniest bunch of rogues in the ‘verse. And fourth, if I were her, I’d drop that torch she’s been carryin’ for stuck-up Dr. Simon Tam and drag that hot hunk of a mercenary Jayne Cobb into my engine room and show him my own version of internal combustion if you know what I mean.  Ahem. Sorry. What were we talking about again?
15. What is your favorite color, and what do you think it would taste like?
Cobalt blue, but I don’t think I’d like it as a flavor. I looks like it would taste like chemicals or cleaning fluid or alien piss.
16. Do you sleep on your left side, right side, back or stomach? Yes.
17. Do you wear boxers or briefs? Girl briefs, I suppose. Um. Wait . . . Yeah. Girl briefs.
18. What feature do you most like about me?
Your dry wit and impeccable taste in blogs.
19. Don’t you think I should be discovered, while I sit doing nothing, and become famous for my writing?
Of course! Right away! Cause if you can figure out how to make it happen for you then maybe I have a chance at fame, too.
20. What would you most like people to say about you after you’re gone?
They don’t need to say anything. I want them to be out of breath, laughing from remembering something I did, said, or wrote.
—

Ah, that Amy. Not only is she wise beyond her years…she’s naturally beautiful with great taste and comes fully assembled for your complete enjoyment. I think it’s all that time spent putting together those Zombies and Robots. She can go from sarcastic to super-sonic ironic in the time it takes you to pull on your girl briefs.

Fix It or Deal. I think I have a girl crush. And you will, too. Go give her a read. Do it. Now.