I’m sure this little news item made it to the top of your Saturday morning reading list.
Beyonce is shopping around an idea for a new documentary about her life. Isn’t that what the Biography Channel is all about? Or TMZ. Or People. Or Entertainment Tonight. Or, or, or. And the list is endless.
Don’t get me wrong. I adore the Bey! She’s smart, savvy, and her thighs are silky smooth. And if you find yourself mopping the floor, select some of her tunes for your iPod and your butt cheeks will be as firm as two ripe peaches in no time.
It’s just…is she trying to hard or what? She’s got the man, the baby girl, the career and enough shoes to make the average woman cry. She’s made some smart choices, career-wise. You can’t help but see her face (or hair) promoting the latest line of products guaranteed to make you look fresh and dewy. (I can get that by working up a sweat fending off the squirrels in our backyard. With no impact on my credit card.)
I remember when Madonna started making it big in “the show.” Critics gave her grief on everything from her singing to her choice of wardrobe. Remember that bra? While I was always afraid she’d poke somebody’s eye out, I had a grudging admiration for her marketing skills. It’s grown over the years and even today, with some of her questionable personal antics hitting the news, she still scores big on the success meter.
Big muscles and…well, big muscles.
I’m not sure why I’m acting all pissy about the Bey. Maybe it’s because I’m calling her the Bey. And who started calling her that, anyway? It’s what you’d name a cow and while she is big with it, she ain’t no cow. But I think she is milking her fame for all its worth.
There I go again. Sorry, Bey Beyonce. I will say that when I heard she had signed up to take the lead in the remake of “A Star is Born” I got a little quiver deep down inside. I mean…the original stared Ms. Streisand. Or the Bar, as I fondly refer to her. (It’s okay. We’re tight.) I know she’s got the hair but does she have the chops to take on a role like that?
While we wait for yet another remake of a first-time around fantastic film, let’s see if we can’t help Ms. Knowles come up with a title for her new documentary.
I’ll put a ring on your finger if you vote. One of those plastic rings you find in the bottom of a Cracker Jack box. Those things are vintage!
It’s hard not to look at the voting results on these things. I’m always secretly hoping that my choice is the best one and everyone else agrees. Imagine my surprise when mine turned out to be the very first vote cast!! So yeah, it’s obvious that “I’ll do it for free, but you’ll have to pay me” is by far the bestest choice.
I’m hoping that Beyonce also does the remakes of “Lady Sings the Blues”, “The Sound of Music”, and “Carousel”. I’m also thrilled to hear there will be another documentary coming, about anyone – jeez they’re interesting!
Your forgot “Ooooo-klahoma.” That would suck the $20 right out of my pocket. And, yes, you can never have too many documentaries. Especially when they are about really rich people who can sing, dance, shimmy and can name their child after a color.
I’m changing my daughter’s name to Apricot Blush. I know she’ll thank me for it.
Her friends wil be so jealous. When she’s all grown up, she’ll appreciate your choice – You could have easily gone with “Raw Umber” or “Sawgrass”.
More people should go to the paint swatch displays at Home Depot instead of wasting valuable money on baby name books. Plus, you’ll save precious time deciding what color to paint the nursery.
Okay…you’ve got me all abuzz with the possibilities. New name for Blogdramedy??? And, please, base it on a premium paint brand color swatch. Because I’m so prime. *snort* Prime.
I slay me.
You want me to go to Home Depot on a Saturday morning and look for swatches?
You clearly expect a lot out of your followers.
My plan is this: I’ll go to the store, and grab a handful of 15 or 20 swatches at random, since we all know the colors and the names rarely have much in common. I’ll then post them here and you can pick your favorites. Don’t worry, I’ll only consider the premium brands – not so much because of better quality paints, but because everyone knows their color names are way better than the bargain brands, which have names such as “Crack Rock Beige” “Bad Tooth Green” and “Fortified Wine Red”
What’s a Saturday without a trip to Home Depot? Not a Saturday I want to be part of I’ll tell you that!
Fifteen or 20 is a bit much. How about a nice round number like 11. I go for 11s. They are like two 1s who found each other. So romantic.
You send the names and some copy and I’ll write some copy and combine your copy and my copy and then…hello? You still there???
Yes…I’m here.
I took a brief break to post something about feces, safe sex and impressing future in-laws. I’m back now…at your service.
Oh my. I hoped you washed your hands first.
Before, during and after. And again
I’d like to suggest “Bey-Z,” because the difference between Madonna and the Bey, from my completely uninformed opinion, is that perhaps someone else, someone known to be a prolific promoter and someone very close to her, may be the force behind the Bey’s mass marketing, whereas Madonna seems to be her own biggest fan and personal promoter.
Man…where were you when I was writing this post?! You get extra points for your awesomely fantastic suggestion…and on a weekend yet. I’ll get in touch with the Bar and ask her to pass along your stellar title to the Bey.
When you win that award at Sundance…remember me.
Volume I Bey Once
Volume II Bey Twice
You are rockin’ in the free world today! *snicker*
First off, I can’t wait to vote on swatch color names. Although, Blogdramedy already kicks ass as a great name.
Secondly, just how much attention and money can any one person really need? I admire Madonna because she continually evolved. She seems to be pretty savvy. If she had not been, I think The Material Girl would be just another footnote on a best of the 80′s music special. I just can’t muster the same kind of admiration for the Bey.
Of course, I’m a child of the 80′s, so I guess I come by my views honestly. I don’t really know much about Beyonce, except there used to be three of them, and she’s a terribly stiff actress.
A child of the eighties…hot child in the city! I bet you were running wild and running pretty. Let’s dance! And Whit It! And be a super freak…she’s all right, she’s all right…she’s alright…with me. I’m dancing. I wish you could see me…I’m bustin a move.
I have to stop now.
Don’t stop on my account! Man, I do still love me some 80′s music – give me the “70′s, 80′s and today” stations, just hold the today part.
I also love funk. Except for that funky chicken song. That’s just wrong.
Remember the Macarena song? With all that hip movement.? That wasn’t just wrong. That was nasty. And not in a good Janet Jackson way.
Nasty girl. Oh yeah.
Yes I do, haha. I never learned that dance. Well, I never bothered to learn any of them
You are the choreographer of your own life. Who needs to learn the “correct” way to do a dance?
As the Hammer would say…just bust a move.
Good advice! Speaking of the Hammer, I did own parachute pants.
Just kidding!!
Wait…what?! When did a post about Beyonce turn into changing my name to a color swatch? Hmmm. Beyonce…sounds like something once beige so Dingy Decorator White for her. Then there is the hubby, Jay-Z. Sounds like hazy…and he comes off cool, so Hazy Cool Grey. And the baby already has a garden-inspired color, Ivy Blue. So, yeah. I can see a connection. You are AMAZING! Does Kreskin know about you???
Madonna…perhaps one of the most brilliant marketers in the music industry. And unlike Tony Robbins…she only knows how to get her freak on…not be one.
Got say, not yet girlfriend not yet. Unless there is going to be some big reveal about childhood trauma it just ain’t all that interesting. Come on, she had good management (moms and pops), good brought upsie and good luck. What are we going to really see, Sparkle in real life?
Give it a few years, lets see if there isn’t some upset. Infidelity, divorce something to make it interesting some drama. Otherwise, well it is just rubbing our nose in the fact that a gorgeous woman got it all. Not hating on the girl but really do I have to have my nose rubbed in it?
I am Beyonce’s official nose rubber. I suppose I should have declared that in my post.
I agree…girl needs some time to age before she is ripe.
My write in vote for the name of her Documentary is…
You Just Don’t Know Bout Me,(you just don’t know bout me)…
…Did you roll your eyes at me- oh no you di-ent.
It’s catchy, no?
Chick-fil-a’s new jingle perhaps?
Did you know that in addition to being an actress, Madonna also recorded a couple albums? True story!
Shut up! Really? You are my Saturday morning go-to guy.
Sorry, but “The Bar’s” version of “A Star Is Born” was a remake. Original starred Judy Garland (or “The Gar” if you prefer …).
I heard about this documentary and I thought, “Why? Don’t we already know everything? I mean, she’s been on OPRAH for God’s sake … there can be nothing more to tell!”
Yes and the original starred James Mason. I think it was 1954? Liked the second one better though.
The Gar. Good tie-in.
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I don’t know anything about this Beyonce person of which you speak, but I did vote that her shoes made me the woman I am, or something like that.
I think a lot of Madonna criticisms early in her career had some validity, and it did seem like she had to go for shock value just to keep her name in lights. But the weird thing is, the older she gets, the more I like her. I think her Super Bowl performance, cheesy as all of them are, was one of the best. Perhaps I’m just getting sappy in my old age but I really liked it.
Now excuse me while I go cleanse myself with a shower of Nickelback.
Yeah…those Crocs are working for you.
I, too, think Madonna has ripened with age. Like a fine wine or a good cheese. Like a cheesy whine. Cue song lyrics:
“Yo…Madonna
I think I really wanna
Try that bullet bra on for size.
No…Madonna
I don’t think I’m really gonna
My boobs are too big for that low-rise.”
Winner!
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