What’s in a name? Well, I’ll tell you.

This is what I love about blogging. The rich and juicy goodness of like-minds meeting and exploring the wonderful world of the comment stream of commentness.

Take the other day, for example. An innocent comment on this post tossed out into the carbon monoxide environment that is Blogdramedy’s usual habitat resulted in 1pointperspective whipping out his…brush…and providing me with his new line of paint chip names (along with well researched and in-depth analysis for same) for up-and-coming interior designers.

Of course, I realize now that I got the wet end of the stir stick. I thought it would be a mere click of the keys to pick paint colors from a site like Benjamin Moore or Sherwin-Williams.

Well color me foolish (is there a chip for that?) Do you think I could copy and paste from their color palettes? Oh, no. Not so easy my friend. I ended up googling each individual color and wearing my pretty fingers to stubs. And it beat my manicure all to crap.

On the positive side…I just know the following colors will be appearing soon on a wall near you. It may be a urine-covered wall in a dingy back alley somewhere but, hey, I’m not one to criticize your choice of stomping ground.

And I think I just discovered my next BOOBS! Anyone who can work in a reference to the R&B group The Temptations AND Charlie Sheen’s full bladder is welcome here anytime!

Frosted Jade - Jade is pissed…I mean really pissed.

Denim Light - Possibly the worst choice of fabric coverings for a lamp shade…or 1/3 less calories than regular denim.

Opal Silk - This has Danielle Steele heroine written all over it.

Caspian Tide - Works better than original Tide on those tough stains.

Chesapeake Sunset - Like a Tequila Sunrise, but made with Old Bay Seasoning and crab grass.

Mai Tai - You’ll love this color tonight, but tomorrow morning, it may not look so delicious.

Terracotta Pot - Very similar to Terracotta Tile, but rounder, and illegal except for Medicinal Terracotta.

Chocolate Swirl - I’m pretty sure this a euphemysm for a rather unpleasant fraternity hazing ritual.

Temptation - Looks nothing like any of the members of the legendary R & B group.

Morning Walk - I looked everywhere for “Morning Walk Of Shame”, but this was as close as I could get.

Tea and Sweets - Who wants to use a paint which requires that you hold your brush or roller with your pinkie out?

Sliced Cucumber - Fortunate that it’s sliced, as unsliced cukes tend to bring bumpy, dark green phallic objects to mind.

Cherry Tart - There’s a porn star by this name right? You want to paint your 6 year old daughter’s room with a paint named after a porn star? What the hell kind of parent are you?

Belgian Waffle - Keep this on your powder room walls and off your plate if you ever want to fit in those pre-pregancy fashions again.

Sheen River - Charlie’s been drinking again, and it appears his bladder was full a minute ago.

(Author’s Note: I tried really hard to pick the ugliest, most repulsive, vomit-inducing shades of color possible. I think I succeeded.)

23 responses on “What’s in a name? Well, I’ll tell you.

    • And when you stand on your front porch yelling for them to come in for lunch, you could just scream out their nicknames…”Cherry…Pot” and see who comes running. ;-)

    • Of these combos I’m torn between the peanut butter and jelly, and the vodka and vodka. However, why not both? They both include some of the essential food groups…nuts, fruit and grain!

      Thanks *hug* for contributing to the delinquency of both our “lone readers.” If I can ever return the favor, just let me know. Topics I’m currently interested in include fake butter, reciprocating saws, “Haven – The First Season,” the height of bathroom vanities, people who can’t take a joke, cheese on toast, toe jam, “open” relationships, Marilyn Monroe, Snoopy, drip vs. french press coffee, motivational speakers, Glock pistols, systemic alliteration, chest hair, bottom vs. top freezer refrigerators, “smart” appliances, leg stubble, ear wax, bad kissers, stockings vs. pantyhose, and sales people who pounce. :-)

      • Speaking of delicious combos, Dogfish Head in Rehoboth Beach Delaware makes a peanut butter infused vodka which is freaking delish…mix that up with some godiva chocolate liqueur and 1/2 n 1/2…diabetic coma worth a trip to the ER.

        Author’s note: do not attempt to use a reciprocating saw, Glock pistol or pantyhose if drinking these concoctions.

        • Delaware just made my drinking establishment of note travel list. I’ll have a couple of paramedics on stand-by. :-)

          What an image you created in my mind with the whole saw, pistol, pantyhose scenario. Everyone must try this at least once in their lives…of course, it would probably BE only once.

    • And with that color combination you have left reality and are now living in the land of “what color is the sky in Tom Cruise’s world.” You may need to find yourself a Hazmat suit and respirator. :-)

  1. Dimples and I were at Sephora looking at nail polishes yesterday, and I all I could think about was this post. Her final selection was “Once a Cheetah, Always a Cheetah”. I’m hoping she just liked the color and it doesn’t say anything about her psyche.

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