Thanks to Steve for giving me the title to today’s post. Well, part of the title.
In his comment to last Friday’s drabble about shower heads and home renovation decisions, he said usually only one person survives. I think he was referring to either me or the Mister being the last one standing. In this story, I smacked down a sales clerk at a plumbing store. I think it’s the first time I ever totally lost my cool in public.
It was empowering.
On Thursday, the Mister and I spent another day in the big city. Arrived home exhausted but we scored a good deal on a slightly damaged Maytag washer and dryer stackable unit. Those suckers are expensive.
A few weeks ago we were all ready to put down our slightly worn Visa card when we found out that the dryer was available but it would be the end of November before we could expect delivery of the washing machine.
What? Turns out there was a flood at the factory in wherever and there are no washer models of this particular Maytag ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD.
The irony of this does not escape me.
So, we said we’d take the floor model. It’s not like people are sneaking in at night to use the washers and dryers, right? Unless.. this service is offered as a “perk” for Home Depot employees? I joke as I write this but when we went in and the sales person removed the tags, we had a bit of a shock. The dryer had a chip in the paint near the door. No biggie. But when he leaned over and removed the energy rating chart off the washer, you could see that the unit was involved in an accident. Which no one reported. Bad, bad anonymous Home Depot employee!
It had all the appearances of having a hit & run with a forklift. We hemmed and hawed for a bit while we waited for the sales person to make us an offer. After the silence became obvious, I finally asked how much he would take off the price. It was enough plus an extra 10 per cent because we just missed an appliance sale by two days. Since the washer goes on the bottom and the dryer on top, you won’t really be able to see the ding and I already have my eyes on a basket to fit just in front. Until the Mister gets around to banging out the dent, only I’ll know it’s there. And you. But I’m hoping you’ll keep it a secret.
We also learned more about shower heads and bathroom faucets that is good for the average human. Did you know there are over a million types of shower heads? Okay…that may be an exaggeration but I don’t think I’m far off once you factor in different finishes, shapes, placement, jets or not, diverters, touch or tap…with or without light and sound show. Apparently, plumbing manufacturers no longer make a shower head that just sprays enough water to get you wet. There are so many options on exactly which part of you gets wet first that you are left wondering if showering is really all that important.
Cats and dogs lick themselves clean. They would think this is a funpark for the pet posse.
Other than thinking…”we need to dig another well” all I see when I look at a shower like this is:
I’m a simple girl. All my complexity is in my head so when it comes to showering, I prefer one nozzle and an on & off lever.
After Home Depot, we went to two plumbing suppliers recommended by Adam, our plumber. He gets a gold star for the suggestions but demerit points for not telling us we’d probably go completely insane at the number of choices available.
At the first store, we wandered and poked and turned taps and adjusted shower heads. A sales clerk came over and the Mister asked her some questions…none of which she answered. By the fifth question she didn’t answer, and as she left to check on another answer to a question we did not ask, I finally snapped.
“EXCUSE ME BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT HE ASKED!”
The sales person whipped her head around and I could tell she was pissed. But I was at DefCon Tough Shit and not backing down. In the end she answered the question and deftly handed us over to the boss.
Smart girl. She lived to earn her commission another day.
After talking to the boss and explaining that we didn’t necessarily need to be blasted into space while showering, we found a nice, simple combination of shower, shower bar and temperature control thingie. Still expensive but much less than $1,989.99.
The second store had a dream of a sales associate. Note the change in title? Sometimes the right title DOES make a difference. Nicole was a dream and really knew her pipes…that’s plumbing parlance for she knows what she’s talking about. The same version of shower bar, etc. that we’d found at the first store was $50 more. But Nicole earned that extra just by her winning sales personality.
She had on really cool glasses, too. She also had some good suggestions for our kitchen faucet and for the tub. Bonus points, Nicole!
In the end, we did not make a purchase. We left it with Nicole to email us some combinations along with pricing and she said she’d try to get it to us this week. We did not get this offer from the first store. So, while I suspect it’s going to be hard to decide on which unit, the decision on WHERE to buy it will be easy.