Racial profiling — it’s all about the athletic gear

I’ve never been able to take Geraldo Rivera seriously. But now that he’s found himself under the spotlight of controversy with his statement last Friday on hoodies and the death of Trayvon Martin, I understand that he is serious…about being stupid. And then there is his age thing.

"Don't judge me by what I'm wearing. Read the article and then decide I'm a misogynistic, racial-profiling asshat who thinks men only read the articles."

There is nothing I love more than seeing a man coming into his own on live television. A man who speaks his mind based on sound reasoning and rational thought is a rarity in today’s world (she writes with a heavy pen of sarcasm.) It’s gotta be that mustache…you spend so much time wondering how anyone can kiss someone with a mustache like that and if he has a special comb he uses to clear out the crumbs that you tune out the actual words and only listen to his authoritative tone. He’s like white noise for bigots.

It was this comment that got the party started:

I think the hoodie is as much responsible for Trayvon Martin’s death as George Zimmerman was.

If that’s not racial profiling, then I guess I need to put in a call to the dictionary people to get them to change the definition before more people start using the “hoodie” defense when they accidentally, or on purpose, shoot someone. (I think that determination is up to the police and the courts, not the media…but then, I’m a stickler that way.)

I think Nike, Lululemon and all the other makers of athletic gear should take note and start adding a warning label to their hooded sweats and jackets. “Wearing this article of clothing with the hood up could lead to serious bodily injury and/or death.” In small print they should also add: “We’re including this warning because we’ve found that people are stupid. This warning only applies to people of color; white people are exempt.”

As a Sl.ob [slut (former) and snob] I just know that any day now we’ll be seeing advertising featuring non-white models sporting hooded clothing with the slogan: “Be Daring. Wear a hoodie and let your next trip to the 7-11 be an adventure.

Do a lot of young people wear hoodies? Yes. Do they wear low-slung jeans? Yes. Does that make them all murderous felon wannabe’s, rapists and thugs? According to Geraldo, yes. Because, after all…clothing makes the man and everyone should base their fears on first impressions.

The only crime people are committing when wearing clothing like this is a fashion crime. Wearing a hoodie makes you no more likely to be a vicious criminal than wearing a really short skirt makes a woman a slut. Showing cleavage does not mean you are “asking for it.” The only thing they are “asking for” is a good friend to tell them to rethink that outfit.

Society puts too much emphasis on style and not enough on substance. I wish Geraldo would use his high-profile pulpit to educate people about prejudices and bigotry instead of using words like these:

He called it “common sense” for minorities to avoid wearing hoodies. He said that he was “reminding minority parents of the risk that comes with being a kid of color in America.”

Sure, blame the parents. Some parents do deserve to be called out but telling your teen not to wear a hoodie because some white guy might shoot them is not the lesson parents should focus on. Educating and limiting the amount of ignorance among other parents and adults seems to me to be the better lesson.

But it’s an age thing, too. The older you become, the more fearful you get of anything different or something that doesn’t fit your concept of “correct or good behavior.” You are inching ever closer to your own mortality and in some people’s minds, like Geraldo — hoodies are worn by young people; young people are scary — that means hoodies are scary. Quick someone, hand me my gun.

There are greater risks than choosing to wear the hood of your jacket up or down. For example, listening to people like Geraldo and Rush Limbaugh…they are taking the wrong end of the stick and shaking it in people’s faces, which is only making things worse.

But then, it’s easier to use fear as a tool to educate. Saying no is always easier. Ask any parent of a four-year old. Saying that wearing a hoodie was the cause of Trayvon Martin’s death was the easy-out answer for Mr. Rivera.

“I’ll bet you money, if he didn’t have that hoodie on, that nutty neighborhood watch guy wouldn’t have responded in that violent and aggressive way.”

Telling a kid “if you wear a hoodie, you’ll be a victim of racial profiling” IS racial profiling. Am I the only one who gets this? Right there, Geraldo shows his ignorance and that blanket statements like this will only lead to more cases of violence and death.

I know that we don’t live in a perfect world. As much as I’m an idealist, I’m not a total moron. Some kids do wear hoodies and commit crimes. But not every kid is a “gangsta.” Some women do wear short skirts and show a lot of cleavage. But not every woman who does so is a hooker. Some people wear really god-awful mustaches but not all of them are demented crazy scientists…they just have something to hide…and what’s wrong with that? If it’s worth the aggravation of growing out a big, bushy mustache then odds are I don’t want to see what you’re hiding anyway.

My rather long get-to-the-point point is: don’t let clothing be the motive behind a heinous crime. Don’t judge everyone on their fashion sense…judge them on their actions. After all, some of the worst criminals in today’s world don’t wear hoodies…they wear $5,000-worth of hand-stitched English houndstooth suits and $2,000 Italian loafers. Like bankers. And Republican presidential candidates. Which goes to show there are exceptions to everything…them you can judge both ways.

Stupid people come in four chords

I laughed when I first posted this tweet. It struck me funny that someone asked me that question. Then I noticed they were serious.

Now I’m crying. Three people have asked me this exact same question this week.

Is it me? Do I look like the type of person who does NOT keep milk in a fridge? Maybe people think I’m a Quaker. That can’t be right.

It would be different if the question was, “Do you have milk?” That I’d get. But to ask where you keep it? Really. Like…what else are you supposed to do with it?

This remark is now in the Top Ten Things People I Thought Were Smart Have Asked Me.

The list goes like this:

1. I’m connected to your home wi-fi network but it’s asking me for a password. I put mine in but it’s not working.

2. Do you get your water from the tap?

3. I don’t eat bread. Got any rolls?

4. The paper cost a $1 and I only have four quarters. Loan me a buck?

5. How do they make popcorn?

6. Is it okay if I wear white socks with my sandals? (That was the Mister. It’s a regular question around our house. The man is impaired in this area.)

7. Do you want to get a refund on your taxes?

8. Is your daughter related to you?

9. If you were born in Great Britain why don’t you sound Irish?

10. See tweet above.

People ask questions for a variety of reasons…for instance, to clarify a request. Or to get directions. Or to gain a better understanding of a situation. Most of the questions above came as a result of the person not thinking before opening their mouth. This is a very bad habit and I don’t know where people are picking it up. Even worse is when they ask the question then don’t clue into the fact that if they’d thought about it for even a second, they’d have the answer.

I blame it on the four chords of stupid people.

The chords are laziness, arrogance, ignorance and overindulgence. They can’t be bothered to think before they speak; they can’t wait to speak because what they have to say is important and must be answered IMMEDIATELY; if they don’t get an answer they understand they think YOU are stupid; and, everyone they have ever met spoiled them rotten.

Now I’m talking extreme cases here. Not the odd brain fart question or the obviously distracted person who’s trying to multi-task and that one question was one question too many. (Like people really believe you can multi-task with success. *snort*) To those people I give a pass.

To the rest? I’ve decided the best way to answer people when they ask stupid questions is to not answer and see what they do. I’ll just look at them with a quizzical expression on my face and see how many times they repeat the question before giving up. I’m guessing three.

They’ll either get it or think I’m stupid. That’s okay. It was me who asked if the water came from a tap. In my defense, we were on someone’s boat and unless it comes out of a bottle, you don’t drink the water. That’s Rule No. 2 of travel.

Rule No. 1 is don’t travel with stupid people but that’s another post for another day.

The inmate is loose…martini glass in hand

WARNING: Blogdramedy is on a ramble

It drives me completely insane when I wake up to find FOX News still exists.

It drives me completely insane when people say Jessica Biel has a nice ass. Excuse me but my ass looks way better!

It drives me completely insane when someone says, “If I were you.” If you were me I’d book an Extreme Makeover IMMEDIATELY.

It drives me completely insane when a website offers a free service then asks for your credit card number.

It drives me completely insane when someone eats off my plate. If I wanted germs I’d crawl around a hospital and lick the floors.

It drives me completely insane when someone who can’t speak and can’t spell gets a book deal.

It drives me completely insane when I find there are still people who like Pepsi over Coke.

It drives me completely insane when people copy a movie with closed-caption ON. (Yes, piracy issue…different subject.)

It drives me completely insane when people get so comfortable around you they feel free to let one loose. Did your Mother teach you nothing?

It drives me completely insane when people ask: “Do you want fries with that?” Who doesn’t want fries? Never trust anyone who won’t eat a french fry.

It drives me completely insane when couples dress alike…on purpose. When I get old I’d rather look like a dog than my spouse. He has weird toenails.

some people don’t have a clue

As some of you may know, I’m renting a vacation condo in Melbourne, Florida this month. The stay has been one screw up after another.

The day I arrived, I had driven up from Ft. Lauderdale early in the morning (in case of traffic, getting lost, etc.) so I was tired when I finally went to enter the unit. I couldn’t get in because the door-lock code the owner had emailed to me didn’t work. First, the lock on the door is one of those “punch in a code” deals. The number she had given me was 4211. Of course, on the keypad it doesn’t say 1,2,3 etc. It’s a series of buttons and the first button has “1 2″, the second button above that has “3 4″ and so on up to “8 9″. So, it was not obvious (at least it wasn’t to me) how you are supposed to press 4211 on a keypad like this. Thankfully, there was a construction guy around who knew the owner and had her cell phone number. Well, turns out she had transposed the numbers and forgotten to tell me how to use the pad.

It’s been downhill ever since.

At no time, either on her website or via email, did the owner tell me they were doing exterior construction work…due to termites and water damage. The work entailed removing all the stucco, ripping off the plywood, fixing the wood beams and replacing the plywood, tacking up tar paper and getting a crew of plasterers on site to put up scaffolding all across the building. Noise, dust, heavy equipment starting at 7:30am and continuing until almost 6pm. ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. Now, I’m not saying I wouldn’t have rented the unit if I had known all this…it’s a nice condo (inside) and for a variety of reasons, I needed to be in this area. However, it would have been nice to know the work was going on and, I don’t know…an offer of reduced rent?

Next up, I had wi-fi access for about three days then nothing. Umpteen emails later and no response. Finally talked to the construction cell phone guy and he gave me the password to another unit’s wi-fi. Which kind of worked…as long as I walked around with my laptop in the air…the only way I could get a strong signal. When I finally had my U.S. cell phone activated, I called the owner. Her response was she had “lost” all her emails. Yeah, o-k-a-y. She said she’d be by the next day. Two days later she shows up. She has two units in this building and ATT cancelled the wrong Internet account for the wrong unit. Hmmm. Plus, the router was broken. No problem, she had another one at home. She left and said she’d be back the next morning between 10am and noon. Another two days and two emails later, she finally shows up and wonders never cease, so far, the wi-fi is working.

The next day, one of the construction guys knocks on my door asking me if the pest control guy had showed up. Huh? Pest control? I email the owner…yes, he’s coming in but I don’t have to be here. (Good.) Don’t know if he ever showed up…the place didn’t have that distinctive odour when I came back later in the day. An email from the owner was too much to ask for.

The same day I see a notice on my door saying the cable was going to be disconnected this Friday. Another email to the owner…after all, maybe she didn’t know about this. Yes, she knew but no worries, there would be no disruption of service and she’d email me more details later. She didn’t say if someone had to enter the unit or not. Haven’t heard from her since.

Well, today’s Friday. So imagine…it’s a sunny day and I’ve just finished my coffee. Shower time. I get the shower going, get out fresh towels and go into the bedroom to grab some clean unmentionables when suddenly someone unlocks the front door and walks right in. Scared the crap out of me. Hello, cable guy with limited English. He just starts right in moving furniture around and doing whatever cable guys do.

I immediately whipped off an email to the owner…just to let her know that the guy did in fact show up and to idly mention it happened pre-shower and was there anything else she’s forgotten to tell me as I settle into my last week here at “condo, the nightmare.”

Still waiting for a reply. This woman doesn’t have a clue. Would I recommend this condo to anyone else? Two weeks ago I would have said yes. Now, I can’t wait for her to ask me to write a guest review for her website. Come on, babe…just ask.

they let anyone on twitter

It’s true. There should be some kind of test you have to take before you are allowed to tweet. Just to determine if you are completely insane or just marginally stupid. Oh, yes, I’m going to hell for that one.

This one made me laugh so hard I think I broke something. Check it:

Someone asked me on Twitter why I am against first amendment rights…I think because of some of my (admittedly strong) anti-Ann Coulter comments.

To this person I say, “Go and google the first amendment. Then, find someone to explain it to you in simple language. And then, tweet me with your apology.”

I doubt I’ll hear from them again.

Here’s another Twitter gem…about my very vocal support of gay rights. “Scared of folks who aren’t gay?” No, I’m scared of folks who say I’m scared of folks who aren’t gay.

But, wait a minute…oh my god…does this mean I’m scared of straight people? Wow…okay, well, that explains a lot. Except…I’m straight. Oh my god…I’m scared of myself!!??

Yeah, I know. *shakes head* At the very least Twitter should have one of those verification questions. Like, what’s 2 + 2. If they answer 5 they’re borderline. If they answer 666…bingo, we have a winner.