It’s that time of year again. Halloween is tomorrow and pumpkins everywhere are busy being stabbed, sliced, jabbed, disemboweled, and carved into outdoor decor for your front porch. Where they’ll sit until they rot and the stench becomes so strong it attracts feral cats and winos.
Pumpkin carving is an art. Most of us see it as a craft and try to DIY it into something cute. Something that makes a child go all “ooh” and “ah.”
That is not the purpose of a pumpkin. Pumpkins don’t want to be cute. Pumpkins don’t want to bring a smile to your face. Pumpkins want to be the scariest part of your day come October 31.
So when P.U.S. (Pumpkins United Society) contacted me to help get the message across, I agreed. I said I’d take a stab at carving out a post as long as they didn’t hold a knife to my throat. Continue reading How To Carve Your Pumpkin
Today I feel…
*This is a renactment – I would never wear socks with that outfit*
How is it possible I’m only discovering Karl Urban on Pinterest TODAY!?!
I’d write something more but a picture paints a thousand words and I want him to write them in dark chocolate, starting with my toes.
Oh. My. Yes.
This is what happens: life gets sticky. And there’s nothing for it but to come clean with a blog-fessional.
Forgive me WordPress but it’s been [pause for counting: 1, 2, 3, 4…] too freaking long since I’ve offered up a slice of my soul for the indigestion of my legions of readers and faithful followers.
I pondered all weekend about whether I’d bore you with the details of the whys and the hows. And then I thought, everyone around here knows all about it so why shouldn’t you be in on the know?
My body got stuck in the land of misery and angst after 12-rounds with someone I’ll call, “Nick the Neck.” He arrived with a side order of high blood pressure and a daily dish of headache.
It’s been such fun. Continue reading What Happens When You Get Gum On The Pause Button
(Today it’s Wine-ology Part Three: The Final Chapter, brought to you by Loie over at CheapWineCurious. She saved the best for last. Enjoy! — BD)
A Tome on the Taxonomic Rank of Carbon Dioxide in the Production of Effervescent Alcoholic Refreshment
This is the finale of my wine trilogy for Blogdramedy. I have loved every hard earned word written in these posts because I have convinced myself that there are actually people reading them. This fin de siècle is dedicated to all those gentle readers who indulged my obscure references, endured spasms of the urinary tract due to my hilarity, and suffered inferiority complexes upon reflection of the refinement and wittery of this series of posts.
I applaud you for taking personal interest in you betterment by building your gastronomic repertoire and stretching your threshold for insufferable assholery. I know, I know, who likes a know it all – even I suffer from self hated and loathing but alas, I’m sure Gynneth Paltrow and Blake Lively all had a split nano-second of self reflection before they launched their “lifestyle brands.” The thought of “helping people” allowed them to snap out of their funk and espouse relevant, down to Earth, aspirational guidance to the everyday woman, who happens to be of a privileged class, a celebrity and unusually beautiful by even Western standards. Through this resilience, they have become the subject of idolatry that is pop culture in earnest. Hey, I totally get it. Kudos, you gals have guts! I only have brain matter, but I put it to use and to protect my only asset, I aways wear a bicycle helmet while riding about town although it makes me look dorky. We all have our crosses to bear and f’d up hair days. Continue reading Champagne, Sparkling Wine & Lady Beer – A Love Story