I love swings. Always have. When I was little and Dad took me to the playground, all I wanted to do was swing on the swings.
So when I had an opportunity to take advantage of a low-cost (really cheap) resort package holiday, I was all over it. It featured swings. Of all shapes and sizes. Then I found out I had heard wrong.
The deal was for an all-inclusive swingers resort. After I calmed down and got my deposit back, I started to think about what I might be missing. This is where my mind went. It isn’t pretty.
“The travel agent said there’s two-for-one happy hour every day at 6pm. So I brought an extra vibrator.”
“I only packed a 100-box of condoms.”
“You know it’s a great vacation when you don’t see your wife until you board the bus for the airport.”
“Are those brown stains on the white lounge cushions what I think?”
“Naked yoga is really kinda gross.”
“The first night was ‘Room Key Swap.’ I ended up with my own key”
“Oh sure, I’d sleep with a complete stranger the first night. But I wouldn’t drink the water. Who knows where it comes from?”
“This is a gay resort? Fuck, got on the wrong bus.”
“My husband and I came to try to save our marriage by sleeping with other people. It was his idea.”
“He asked me if I’d be interested in a BJ but I told him I only do Chivas. I’m no cheap date.”
“This might be my one chance at true love.”
“We shouldn’t judge. We’ll let others do that on Instagram.”
Ever booked a vacation that wasn’t what you expected? Share details. Please.