Tag Archives: cheap

Nine Twelve Thirteen – Twelve Continued


I’m starting to feel like a writer for the series “24.”

When we last left off…

On Sunday, safely ensconced in our new abode, the Mister and I got back in the car and hit the local liquor store (that’s where I scored the Lewis & Lewellen Pinot Noir.) After a swing by the grocery store, we got busy with the bbq and the wine opener.

Is there anything sexier? This perhaps?

He makes me want to book a Doctor's appointment...STAT! (Star Trek reference.)

For the first time in days the wind died down and we were able to enjoy a protein-enriched meal (read: steaks) and rehydrate (read: wine) outdoors on the deck watched carefully by various birds and goldfish. Just in case we were inclined to share.

The house we were sitting is owned by R&R, two good friends we rarely see and is across from the largest park in the area, has the most delightful guest room and bath, and a kitchen fit for Jamie Oliver. And they stock it well. Every kind of olive oil and balsamic vinegar…like chocolate balsamic.

I had some with strawberries and swooned.
Sadly, Karl was not there to catch me.

While their backyard doesn’t get a lot of sun, it gets enough and with the pond, it sounds delightful and it’s very private. You could sit out there naked with a cup of joe in the morning with nary a concern. (Note to self: next time make sure it’s not garbage day. Public employees get enough benefits.)

We slept like drunken, overfed Vikings.

On Monday, we did some shopping then invited the Lady and her Mister, and two other old friends, over for drinks. Everyone showed up late, of course. First in the door was the Lady…eyes googling from side-to-side and talking non-stop. Before I had a chance to offer her a glass of wine, she was off. Up the stairs and straight into the master bedroom (which was left in its usual state as our house sitting was a last-minute deal. When R&R returned and asked if we had anyone over, I lied.)

She had a good gawk and after about 20 minutes sat her ass down on the deck and proceeded to tell everyone what she liked about the house and what she would do differently.

We had to take numbers to get a word in edgewise. Kind of like at the butchers but only way less fun.

Mom would like it still wriggling, please.

When she stopped to snack on some nibbles, I said we were going out to eat and would everyone like to join us. I heard a croaking noise and someone saying, “What? You’re not cooking?” I’ll give you one guess.

Now remember, we did cook for her and her Mister the day we arrived. After driving all day and fighting the after-work crowds at the grocery store. We thought we’d like to treat ourselves to a night out but I had forgotten that the Lady is cheap. She begged off with the excuse they had to pack to leave for a trip to a friend’s cottage. I didn’t let the door hit her in the ass when they left.

I was actually glad. I was starting to hear her voice in my sleep and my sleep is sacred. The only voice I like to hear in my head when I’m unconscious is my own. Or Karl Urban’s.

Our other friends jumped at the chance to spend some time with us and we ended up at a new pasta place where we had two hours of great food and excellent uninterrupted conversation. Woot!

Then they picked up the tab! For the wine and everything. I must remember to get them together with the Lady more often. Maybe something will rub off.


Nine Twelve Thirteen

Sorry to disappoint but that title is not the date of the new-and-improved Rapture. It’s the days this month that I missed BlogADay2011 due to vacation-itis. Color me not too concerned. I’m just going to write three posts and post them over the next few days as an ongoing story…I don’t want you to get bored.

It’s not like they have a blog-a-day recon force roaming WordPress. It’s not like they’re talking about me in some obscure chat room plotting my imminent demise.

Or are they?

The military look is so not me.

Being in a big city the past week or so made me realize YOU. ARE. NEVER. ALONE.

When you’re staying with people while on vacation, there are certain obligations. You are expected to spend time with them, cook at least one meal and make their lives the topic of most conversations. I’m good with that. When you put that up against the outrageous price of a hotel room, it’s basically a cheap date.

However, there is very little privacy or time to yourself. As a guest, you feel like you’re on-call…with performances scheduled all day and all night.

Especially when you stay with the Lady and her Mister.

(The Lady and her Mister are two friends of my Mister that I inherited when we met. They are nice people but the Lady drives me bat shit. I’ll write more about her later.)

First, there’s the breakfast meeting. This is full of conversation about how you slept, was the bed comfortable, did we figure out how to open the window and what would we like for breakfast.

You can never say, “Just coffee.” That is not acceptable. Because that answer leads to a 20-minute rundown of what’s on offer. In the end, you cave and the plate is set in front of you and you finally have a cup of coffee in your hand, and the conversation turns to…

What do you want to do today?

Sleeping. It's an art...and my personal lifestyle choice.

You can never say, “I’d like to spend an hour online writing my blog post.” This leads to questions like, “But you haven’t done anything with us yet…what’s to write about?” Little do they know just sitting there, I’m writing as they speak. For this blog. They assume I’m referring to ourlifedaily. And, since that blog is about our life and travels, and we’re sitting right in front of them, they are “in the moment” so there’s no need to “write about this now…do it later.” Of course, later becomes never as they start to list all the fun things they planned for our visit. Here’s a few suggestions:

1. Go with them while they take their dog to the groomers.

(They have a miniature poodle. It could fit in a bar sink. Why not just slosh him around in there for five minutes and call it a day?)

2. Pack up a lunch and go sit on their boat.

(It’s at a mooring and there would be no leaving the mooring. The Lady of the house doesn’t like to sail yet they have a boat. This means the Mister and her Mister would go below and start tinkering with the motor or talk about wiring or whatever. That would leave me sitting on the deck, in the wind, listening to the Lady. She talks…a lot. I’m not kidding.)

3. Go with them to the grocery store to pick up something that WE’LL be cooking for dinner.

(We like to cook for other people. It’s our way of saying “thanks.” Usually, we just tell them when to show up. Not with the Lady. She needs to know what we’ll be cooking then proceeds to tell us why she won’t be eating that. She’s also cheap. Yes, I could say she “watches her pennies” but she really is cheap. They have a better income than us…actually, they are quite well off. That comes from being cheap, I guess. I don’t think we’ve ever had a meal out together…because that would mean paying. More on that later.)

4. Spend the afternoon with their neighbors.

(Who have two totally non-obedience trained Airedale terriers who think your leg is a humping bag. Who hog the best seats and bark all the fucking time. Who leave dog hair all over your clothes. Who have owners who dress them up in little outfits and who talk to them like babies. Suddenly, I have an urge to suck on a bottle of warm milk.)

Like a visit to a hardware store, not paying for a hotel stay is like a cheap date. It gives me a happy. You just have to hold on to that feeling when staying with the Mister’s friends.

And besides, saving money on a room means I have money to spend on me. Which leads me to July 9th.

On July 9th we were heading downtown and got clocked in the windshield with a big rock. It came off the back of a gravel truck and landed on the passenger side leaving a lovely huge ding and the beginning of a crack. You could tell just by looking at it that it was going to spread fast. Like hips that have spent too much time at Dairy Queen. It had to be fixed right away. We found an Apple Auto Glass nearby and we were able to book an appointment for later that day. Then, we had the pleasure of calling our insurance people just to see how much this was going to cost.